Signs You Are in a Bad Marriage – Naturally, bad marriage do not exist but wrong partner do, and it occur when you choose your life partner base on conditions attached therefore to be happy, avoid marrying because of conditions.
What is bad marriage?
I will tell you with an illustration, when you experience the opposite of everything you prayed for, is a bad marriage. Example: you prayed for fun and playful husband or wife but after sometimes, things changed, the playful and fun partner you had, becomes bitter and isolated one and there is nothing you do that pleases him or her anymore, you cry but he ignores. That’s a bad marriage.
Bad marriage can also happen as a result of pride. Yeah pride goes before a fall. If you love your partner and your home, you got to let go of pride and let submission and respect take place. Don’t be too big to say “Honey I’m sorry, I was wrong please forgive me”.
It shouldn’t only occur when you are wrong but it should occur even when you know that you were not at fault but because you want to make your home, your marriage to work therefore you let pride go.
Bad marriage do not occur when you are with the right person, right person in the aspect of let God into your relationship before accepting or requesting to marry someone. Being with the right person does not mean that the person will be perfect or that the person is void of errors, misunderstandings, etc.
A happy ending love stories, do not means absence of quarrels, jealousy, anger, insult, abuse either physically, mentally, medically, spiritually, or otherwise. It is a marriage that beats all or almost all the opposition that rises up against the marriage and still stand a test of time.
How do you know if you are with the right partner or wrong partner in life? Let’s check these out;
Signs that you are in a bad marriage
1. Physically Abuse: It is said in the Holy book of the Christians (Eph. 5:21- 23) wife be submissive to your husband and now turned to the husband and said husband love your wife as you love yourself.
So any man that abuses you, do not love you is just as simple as that. If you love yourself and you know the implications of being abuse in any form, then you won’t like to use it on someone else not to think of your partner who is your better half.
2. You are unhappy: Being unhappy in your marriage most times is cause by being emotionally un-satisfied. If you are in love yet your partner do not even look at you twice no matter the effort you put into play, he or she still overlooks it, which means you are not with the right person.
Your right man or woman will not let anything be it work, or any situation, to take the place he had for you in his or her heart because knowing very well that hurting you means he is hurting himself.
3. No together except on bed: seriousness is important and being holy is good but in area of being so holy and serious that you can’t even tell your partner how much you love him or her, no intimacy while having a chat with her over dinner or breakfast at home is not marriage is a bondage which you have to break loose either by seeking counsel, Praying, leaving or otherwise.
4. Always Angry: Anger is not a bad thing but when it turns to a routine, it is bad. So being irritated in almost everything your partner does or your partner getting angry over almost everything you do, is a sign of bad marriage, it means your spouse or you, is tired of the marriage.
5. Absence of connection: No matter how you fake during dating, you can’t fake it to the end in marriage. Marry someone that you know that the connection is real and strong. When you are connected with your partner, you will feel his or her pains and when your spouse is happy because there is a connection between you both.
6. Change of priority: When you are in someone’s life that loves you so deeply and true, you will be their priority no matter the kind of work they do. So if your partner starts withdrawing from you or the kids, it easily means that something else is dividing his or her attention from you and that’s called “Red Light” which is not a good sign.
7. Family control: When you got married, starting your own family was your heart wishes, but in aspect of you getting married, your sister in-law, mama, aunty etc coming to run your home for you and with that, your partner is not saying anything or is not seeing anything wrong with that, is a bad marriage.
8. Mommy’s boy: The most annoying part is for you as a lady to marry a man that is under the influence of his mother. If your husband takes every advice from his mother to run the home, my dear, that marriage is not for you.
CAUSES OF BAD MARRIAGE
1. Lack of communication: no home or relationship that can stand its ground without communication because it plays a major role to your marriage or relationship being successful.
2. Lack of remorse: No one is perfect therefore learn to say “I’m sorry”. Oh I didn’t mean to hurt you my love etc. It won’t take anything for you instead it will help save your marriage from damaging.
3. Family business: I know you love your family, your Dad especially but your happiness matters too. If your family loves you more than they love being on top, they will think of your wants at least for once.
4. Comparison: if you are a type that easily follow inferiority complex, stop it before you go into marriage. Criticism is not welcome in marriage, so never compare your marriage with your friend or neighbor’s own. Be satisfy with what you have.
5. Always absent minded: you don’t care about each other feelings anymore
6. Unsolved conflict: is a poison to an healthy relationship or marriage
7. Personal interest: Oh if I marry him, people will begin to respect me etc. One day you will be tired of that respect.
8. Putting interest in someone else: If you are in a serious relationship that was leading to marriage yet you are seeing yourself having interest in someone else that you have to focus all your attention to the person just because the person has what you want in life in terms of physical look or material things etc you now rush for that one because is a big fish which you can’t miss because it comes once in a life time.
HOW TO AVOID BAD MARRIAGE
1. Don’t marry because all your friends are married.
2. Don’t marry because of material things.
3. Work hard so that you won’t consider a man or a lady because of what you will benefit from marriage him/her.
4. Don’t marry because of family recognition.
5. Don’t also marry because your pastor say so, pray to God also to show you who your husband or wife is and where she is at.
Note this: For your Pastor to tell you “that is your husband that is your wife” does not mean that you shouldn’t go back home and also ask God “Father please show me who my partner is” God still answers prayer, so go to him in prayer.
6. Low self-esteem: Low self-esteem have deceive so many ladies into ending up with the wrong man instead of the one God created for them because of this.
At I’m 23 years, Lord I need a handsome, tall, rich, muscular man for a husband. At 27year, Lord even if he is not rich but handsome, tall, muscular and handsome, I will collect. Then finally at 30 year plus, prayer point changes Lord, please anything, as long as he is a man, just give a husband we will try and work things out together.
Now that low self-esteem that you can’t make it without marrying a rich man has now disappear leaving you with the prayer point of oh Lord anything as long as he is on trouser.
7. Pray: a song writer says “Prayer is the key, prayer is the key, prayer is the master key” now this composed music wasn’t a mistake or because the singer lacked what to write and release, but it is because he saw it all.
So prayer has the power to change and turn things around to your favor if only you seek and ask then He will answer from heaven. (Math.7:7)
8. Marry because you truly love the person and you are ready to allow understanding to drive it not love because one day love may fade away but understanding will keep the marriage going.